Candace's Blog

INVESTMENT TIP (Shhhh......The Emerging Global Rage Fund offered by Goldman Sachs)

The following was sent to me by a relative.  Do you think it is a humorous parody about the financial group who claims to be doing "God's Work"?:

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)– The following is a letter released today by Lloyd Blankfein, the chairman of banking giant Goldman Sachs:

Dear Investor:

Up until now, Goldman Sachs has been silent on the subject of the protest movement known as Occupy Wall Street.  That does not mean, however, that it has not been very much on our minds.  As thousands have gathered in Lower Manhattan , passionately expressing their deep discontent with the status quo, we have taken note of these protests.  And we have asked ourselves this question:

How can we make money off them?

The answer is the newly launched Goldman Sachs Global Rage Fund, whose investment objective is to monetize the Occupy Wall Street protests as they spread around the world.  At Goldman, we recognize that the capitalist system as we know it is circling the drain – but there’s plenty of money to be made on the way down.

The Rage Fund will seek out opportunities to invest in products that are poised to benefit from the spreading protests, from police batons and barricades to stun guns and forehead bandages.  Furthermore, as clashes between police and protesters turn ever more violent, we are making significant bets on companies that manufacture replacements for broken windows and overturned cars, as well as the raw materials necessary for the construction and incineration of effigies.

It would be tempting, at a time like this, to say “Let them eat cake.”  But at Goldman, we are actively seeking to corner the market in cake futures.  We project that through our aggressive market manipulation, the price of a piece of cake will quadruple by the end of 2011.

Please contact your Goldman representative for a full prospectus.  As the world descends into a Darwinian free-for-all, the Goldman Sachs Rage Fund is a great way to tell the protesters, “Occupy this.”  We haven’t felt so good about something we’ve sold since our souls.

Sincerely,

Lloyd Blankfein

Chairman, Goldman Sachs

 

PS - YOU KNOW SOMETHING'S STRANGE WHEN BOTH GLEN BECK AND JOHN STEWART AGREE. PARTS 1 AND PARTS 2 OF PBS's ANALYSIS OF GOLDMAN SACHS ARE PRETTY INTERESTING, AND EASY TO UNDERSTAND.  "AN EASY MONEY SCAM"...is an excerpted quote from one GOP Presidential adviser.

PPS - Today Goldman Sachs announced lay-offs.  No matter how smarmy their role in the sub-prime lending/derivatives industry, I'm sorry to hear more people are losing their jobs. 

PUT COMMON SENSE BACK IN THE COMMONWEALTH: Mopeds, Scooters, Lawnmowers and Pomeranians

As my jury trial approaches for the crimnal charges pending against me for operating a "licensed motor vehicle" (i.e. formerly a Moped, now a "modified motorcycle" in the State of MA -- as of 2010), I maintain that operating a well-tuned snow blower or a modified lawn mower might also require operators permits, as well as licenses and insurance.  Perhaps even....a Pilot's License?  Click HERE to see proof that a lawnmower might be more dangerous and challenging to operate than a low speed, no-shift motor scooter.  Perhaps lawnmowers should be required to park on the street...or maybe even at the airport?  (IMHO, the law requiring low speed scooters to take up urban parking spots is equally ridiculous. Reference the Web site: www.scooterlust.com)

At a time when we are allegedly trying to reduce fuel consumption, reduce urban traffic, minimize street parking, and minimize cell phone abuse while driving, the new Moped/Scooter laws are a great example of stupid laws for short term gains but myopic when it comes to the big picture...what's really good for Boston and the Commonwealth.  If all we need is more revenue, perhaps the Mass. Dept. of Motor Vehicles should expand its jurisdiction to license anything with a motor?  And what about racing bicycles? With a strong rider, a good racing bike can actually go faster than my motor scooter.

Hmmm, since I have to license my Pomeranians, too, maybe, if I got enough of them, I could hook them up to a cart.  Wonder how long before I'd need an operator's permit for THAT?

SPIRITUAL NETWORKING - Great Holiday Humor for the Digital Age

If you haven't seen this already, it's a fabulously clever retelling of the Christmas Story c. 2010 -- the Digital Age.  Click HERE to see how Mary and Joseph made their way around the mid-East using Facebook, Google, Maps/Directions, even Web travel arrangements.

CRIMINAL INSANITY: Candace Clemens & her scooter vs. the State of Massachusetts

FOR THE BACK STORY: I quote an excerpt from www.savescooters.com:

"We’re dedicated to fair laws governing low-impact alternative transpotation in Massachusetts. Beginning on 8/1/2009 Massachusetts will begin enforcing a law which will make owning and operating 49cc scooters expensive and parking them difficult.

This law is an environmentally and socially irresponsible. It penalizes those of us who choose to use one of the most efficient and ecologically sound transportation options in an already over-crowded area.

This law contains no provisions for encouraging the use of alternative transportation, nor does it mandate that cities supply alternative parking options. It only places restrictions and undue burdens on scooter owners in the form of parking restrictions, mandatory registration, and required insurance for 49cc scooters previously classified as “mopeds”.

HERE's MY STORY:

My first day in criminal court as a defendant!  For the horrible crime of driving a scooter w/out a scooter operator's permit, uninsured, and unregistered. All pretty serious crimes in a car, but a completely new law that -- as of Jan. 1, 2010 -- began to impact those of us who owned and operated such scooters previous to August, 2009. I purchased my used Honda Met in 2007, after a drunk driver totalled my 2005 Prius.  I was left with a 4WD pick up truck and just couldn't justify the insurance on two vehicles, anymore. The new scooter law is one that even the people at the DMV think is silly.  They cheered when I told them about my plans to picket, and the TV news saying they'd show up to cover it.

Funny, but the judge did not even know it was a scooter when he read the litany of my violations!  Once they passed that @#!*%  law, the former "mopeds" are now considered just another "licensed motor vehicle," a phrase that is going to wreak havoc on parking laws, and even loaning the to my daughter Sam, or other friends (not unlike Bermuda!)  when they come to visit and need a vehicle to get around when it's good weather.  Now I cannot offer this alternative to out of state visitors.  My daughter won't have a "modified motorcycle driver's license" because she's a resident of NC, and they don't have such a license down there!

Sam fell in love with the scooter last summer, when she was up for a week between a wedding and a family funeral, and her company let her work out of their Boston branch office.

So....here's a recap of Day #1 of Candace in Criminal Court. I know I should have opted for the fine, but I just could NOT bring myself to do it.  And the judge was soooooo sweet and so kind to me....I felt like I was at a yard sale, bartering over an old, used piece of furniture.

This judge was really all about trying to cajole various offenders into paying fines instead of opting for a jury trial, which is really a stupid waste of taxpayer money and judicial time.
 
Most offenses were really petty things, but the fines are getting steeper (i.e. $200 instead of $100, I'm sure a result of the state's need for revenue, although the judge always made sure to offer people payment plans -- since none in attendance appeared to be wealthy.)

Many of those facing charges appeared to be bright, sweet people that didn't speak English very well, if at all, and therefore didn't quite understand MA's extremely complicated, outrageously expensive, exorbitant motor vehicle laws.  They needed translators. When the judge asked the traditional, “do you understand the charges against you,” one frightened, modestly dressed, obviously devout and "good" (i.e. religious) seemingly Latino woman did not understand the charges.

I think she had a vehicle that might have been off the road, so unregistered, and probably loaned it to a visiting relative.  Meanwhile, you can't even KEEP and unregistered/unlicensed car on your own property in MA!  except maybe in a garage. Can you believe that????

This was actually a little relevant to my own case, as -- in addition to Sam, I once let my friend borrow it to go see her son race in the "Head of the Charles."  This rowing event is so popular, there is no parking within miles of the River.  She had to rush to drop her son off pre-race, drive home, and then go back a few hours later to watch him race.  So I suggested, "take the scooter!"  She never had ridden it before. I gave her a crash course (no pun intended) and off she went.  She scooteed the few miles, taking the back roads over to Mem Drive, parked right next to one of the bridges where she could cheer him as he passed under, and then scooted back home. She LOVED it, and agreed it was safer, much more balanced, with a much lower learning curve compared to a bicycle.

But I digress…back to criminal court. 

One man was charged with having an unlicensed, unregistered vehicle on the street because the leased garage for his antique car had some structural problems, threatening to damage the car.  So he backed it out and parked it out on the street for 24 hours while he did the repairs to the buildling.  The "no overnight parking" law brought it to the attention of the police, who promptly had it towed, and he was charged with criminally operating an uninsured, unlicensed vehicle.  He said he had all the photos, and proof of the circumstances.  But the judge said his role was not to hear the case, but to offer him the CHOICE of a fine vs. a hearing.  The judge explained that a jury of his peers might appreciate his situation, and decide he s hould not have to pay anything, or he might get a very harsh fine.  Because the law is the law!

This wonderful judge offered this man a $50 fine!  Wow.....there might be hope for me, yet, I thought.  He seems like such a reasonable judge!

I actually applauded out loud when this man gratefully accepted the nominal fine!  IT WAS SUCH COMMON SENSE!  Yes, the law is the law, and it serves its purpose, to prevent people from diving uninsured cars. But sometimes it truly clashes with common sense!   This ruling DESERVED applause.  Haha....the entire court room went silent and looked at me. 

I think I saw the judge surpress a smile.

BUT, I had three very serious charges. 
The judge made me an offer of $200 per "charge." If it weren't a scooter and the law was not brand new this year, would be really bad offenses:
1. Unlicensed driver
2. Unregistered vehicle
3. Uninsured vehicle

Obviously I have my driver's license.  I've had one since I was 16.  But JUST LAST FALL, the DMV decreed that people who drive scooters that go over 30 mph, but still under 40 mph (so you can't go on the highway...strictly for around town and back roads) need a SPECIAL "modified motorcycle" operator's permit.  Which is SUCH a crock!  Pretty soon we'll need a permit to operate a snow blower, a golf cart, bumper cars, go-carts, or a lawn mower! I predict eventually, we'll have to pay for our children to get learner's permits to learn how to ride a tricycle!

It gets worse. There are serious, legal remifications CALLING it a "licensed motor vehicle."  Worst of all is forcing low-end scooters -- used to be classified w/ the Mopeds which allegedly are limited to 30 mph -- to TAKE UP AN ENTIRE PARKING SPACE ON THE STREET.  Gratefully, the cops are still a little fuzzy about enforcing this.  But this was the #1 reason I opted for a low speed scooter, and not a high speed one.

It was just so WEIRD to be in criminal court, charged w/ criminal offenses.  And to take such a risk because -- not only do I disagree with the law itself (I think low end scooter commuters should be rewarded for alleviating Boston's traffic and parking problems) -- I don't agree with how the new law is being handled.  

When the judge told me that the fines totaled $600, I replied "my scooter isn't worth that much."  So he countered w/ $400.  I told him it probably wasn't worth that much, either.  I humorously imagined saying, "Do I hear $300?"  As if reading my mind, the judge countered, "$300 -- and that's as low as I'll go."  At this point, the judge was indeed smiling, and I truly had to repress a laugh.  I felt as if I was an auctioneer!

I smiled politely and respectfully.  I said his offer was very tempting. But, not without a little self-doubt, I said that I felt compelled – as a good citizen -- to argue my case. It is complicated, not without a touch of Civil Disobedience. But that's my heritage...my responsibility as a citizen. As a college student -- I protested the Vietnam War. I come from a long line of women activists, and suffragettes -- Lucretia Mott and Debrah Samspon are among my ancestors! My mom, a journalist, would have been proud of me. Even my mom's husband, my step-father, a WW II Vet and P.O.W. once was arrested for picketing against Apartheid. My mom was so proud of him. (He was in his 70’s…and took a bus in to the White House from their retirement center in Md.)

It used to be against the law for women to own property or to vote; it used to be against the law for gays to serve in the military; "the law" used to sanction buying and selling slaves; and it was against "the law" for slaves escape to freedom in the North. So just saying "it's the law" doesn't always mean a responsible citizen should accept the punishment without a protest.

But I really don't want to spend $5 K.  Nor do I want to go to jail (except maybe in a warmer climate?)  So I need to simplify the case. To prove that the law was so fuzzy, even the folks at the DMV, the police, and the insurance companies were confused.   I think just by showing the summary that the Boston Globe did back in july 2009 -- which was given to me by my insurance company -- and basically summarizes that the law is totally half-baked, and many aspects being "reconsidered" -- esp. the requirement for an operator's permit (easier to drive than a tricycle), and need for insurance, as well as the whole parking issue.

The judge asked if I would have counsel or was chosing to represent myself.  I said the latter. Did he smile?  He then warned me that I was risking a $5 K fine, (no jail time, though), or I could get off paying nothing if the jury agreed w/ me.  Next will be a pre-trial hearing on Jan. 20.

All in all, the judge was very personable, and even paternal, praising and encouraging one young mother who -- for reasons I could only guess -- had been separated from her baby until she was deemed fit to be a parent again.  I restrained myself from jumping up and yelling, "don't do it.  the kids will just get you in MORE trouble!  If you're not a substance abuser already, you probably will be by the time you have teenagers!" Now that I think of it, so many of the challenges of having teenagers would be SOLVED if they were encouraged to use one-seater, low-speed scooters instead of cars. (Per my picket sign on Facebook.)

At the end, this wonderful judge asked if I had any questions or comments, and I said, "I was very impressed with your conduct and several of your rulings."  He laughed, and asked his stenographer if she got that down.

CANDACE CLEMENS CHARGED with CRIMINAL OFFENSE: Operating an uninsured 50 cc Scooter

I HAVE CRIMINAL CHARGES FILED AGAINST ME!!! My 50 cc Honda Scooter had an expired sticker. Under the new 2010 Mass. State Law, scooters that formerly did not require insurance are now divided into two categories -- under 30 MPH (still don't require insurance); and those that go 40 MPH max (now require insurance). I CHOSE to purchase my low-speed scooter for ONE REASON....to avoid insurance. Period.

So when I went to renew my sticker, after waiting 2-1/2 hours, I was told I now needed insurance. I decided it is time to exercise..."Civil Disobedience"-- what I consider to be my patriotic duty. Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_Disobedience_%28Thoreau%29

Here's an excerpt: "....people should not permit governments to overrule or atrophy their consciences."

At first blush, the freedom to purchase and ride low-speed scooters without all the b.s. that goes with car ownership -- to be free from our increasingly POLICED LIVES -- is hardly comparable to, say, slavery, which is one of the issues where Thoreau suggests "breaking the law" is not only OK, it is a responsibility of citizenship.  (A relevant read, "Hitler's Willing Accomplices"....if we go along with our governments laws, just because it's "the law"....we may end up condoning some bad things, just because it's "the law.")

BUT...Take a moment to think about the potential positive effects of low-speed scooters and the difference they COULD make, esp. in Urban Areas.   Instead of making it more EXPENSIVE AND COMPLICATED to own, we should offer citizens -- esp. kids -- INCENTIVES to use scooters as much as possible, as alternatives to cars. 

Incentives could include -- parking them like bicycles; no mandatory insurance; minimal registration fees (if any); and possibly even special lanes on highways where they currently are banned because they can't go fast enough.  But there are plenty of back roads....and I am not one to suggest we spend more taxpayer money just to make room for low-speed scooters.  I'm really more about encouraging scooter use to SAVE Taxpayer money. 

Here are some of my reflections of the advantages of low-speed scooters:

1. affordable alternative transportation, esp. for kids
2. no cell phone usage (helmets, not to mention hands)
3. no texting (obvious)

 [BTW - HAS ANYONE THOUGHT HOW MUCH MONEY IT WILL COST THE TAXPAYERS TO HIRE EXTRA POLICE TO WATCH FOR TEXTING and/or TEENAGE CELL PHONE VIOLATORS????]
4. dramatic reduction in gas consumption and fumes
5. no speeding; minimal reckless driving
6. NO DRINKING WHILE DRIVING (both hands are occupied, and helmet restricts intake) --

7. also very, very difficult to drive while drunk (unlike a car, you will tip over if you are too tipsy to walk. And you will do it standing stll or else going at a slow speed).
8. no road rage/hand gestures
9. no traffic jams
10. no parking problems
11. no high speed police chases
12. you can ride one in formal working attire, and even dressed up

IF CITIZENS WERE GIVEN INCENTIVES TO USE LOW-SPEED SCOOTERS, TAXPAYERS MONEY COULD BE SAVED BY A DRAMATIC REDUCTION IN METER MAIDS, and TRAFFIC POLICE OFFICERS could be freed up to pursue real criminals....instead of harassing those of us who are trying to minimize gas consumption and decrease the number of cars on the road.

I HAVE LEARNED THAT IT WAS UP TO THE ARRESTING OFFICER'S DISCRETION WHETHER OR NOT I COULD PUSH MY SCOOTER HOME (it was just a few blocks down Mass. Ave from my home) OR HE COULD REQUIRE ME TO BE TOWED. He opted for the latter, and so a HUGE FLATBED TOW TRUCK came to pick up my 50 cc Honda, at a cost of $100, CASH ONLY, of course. I wonder if any of that money went back to the arresting officer? Why else would he decide to have my 50 cc Honda -- which is not much more difficult to push than a bicycle -- towed on a huge flatbed truck?  If it was up to his discretion, there could only be TWO REASONS why he would force me to be towed:

A. he is getting a kick back from the tow company

B. he is just chosing to be mean to me...to teach me a lesson....because how DARE I break the law by knowingly NOT going back to the DMV after finding out insurance was now required, when that was what I was trying to avoid. 

I posted this on my facebook profile....and a friend added these OTHER advantages to the proliferation of low-speed scooters:

13. riding a scooter, one looks very "French" (especially sexy for female riders on Vespas) - [ACTUALLY, in my last trip to Europe, while in Munich, I noticed HUGE NUMBERS of low-speed scooters being driven by people in work attire....it is very Euro!  Considering it costs me $2 to fill my tank....and gas in Europe is now about $6 a gallon....commuting on a scooter is a sign of intelligence.] 
14. provides a legitimate reason for one to wear leather clothes, even in the summer [personally, I prefered riding around in the really hot weather in shorts and sandals...I felt like I was at the beach instead of on Storrow Drive, on my last trip to the Longwood Medical area. THE JOURNEY IS THE REWARD!]
15. one way to actually smell the roses [a VERY SPECIAL side-treat to low speed scooters is, indeed, the feeling of "experiencing" the world around you, as you commute to wherever you are going.]
16. provides High School students with another excuse as to why his/her homework was not turned in ("it blew off my scooter")....[ha ha....well...I'm assuming that the high school kids might actually appreciate being able to go to after school jobs and such.  If parents are worried about liability, get your kid a single seat scooter...that's what I have.]

MY FINAL QUESTION TO MY READERS:  Why are our politicians passing these laws that are forcing low-speed scooter riders to get insurance, get a special drivers permit (my daughter said it was easier to "learn" to ride my scooter than learning to ride her bicycle w/ training wheels), and -- new in Boston -- talk about forcing scooters to park in metered parking spots!

REVENUE FOR THE STATE!

But that is a very, very stupid way to get revenue when one considers all the BENEFITS and SAVINGS TO TAXPAYERS that would come by giving UP that source of revenue.  Let's get revenue by doing things like legalizing pot and taxing it; increase the tax on alcohol and cigarettes; increase the registration fees for any non-commercial vehicles that get less than 30 MPG.  And when it comes to saving Tax Payer money....

PS - because I have a CRIMINAL CHARGES filed against me, I am now REQUIRED to go to court. Which, of course, involves court fees.  When I expressed my dismay, my arresting officer said "no big deal....it will be dismissed and won't go on your record or anything.  You might have to pay a fine and the court costs."  I said, "well, if my scooter is my only means of transportation, how am I supposed to get to court?"  and he replied, "TAKE A TAXI!"

I can think of ONE police officer whose salary would no longer be a burden to the Tax Payers if we liberate low-speed scooter riders from the shackles of our Police State.

CANDACE CLEMENS ANNOUNCES BIBLE BURNING PLANS

Apparently, if any nut case makes a controversial statement about the Muslim religion, a) the media gives the nut case some actual credibility, b) some believers in the target religion feel justified in reacting violently, c) the nut case uses the resulting publicity to try to blackmail people into acting in accordance with his agenda.

This guy is allegedly a Christian minister.  That implies that he worships a man called Jesus and regards him as Christ, the Son of God, and his holy reference book is the Bible. I was under the impression that the man called Jesus was someone who preached "turning the other cheek" and "loving your neighbor" even if he/she isn't of the same faith, as presented by Jesus in the story of the good Samaritan (not one of "the Chosen" people...all those "chosen" people ignored a suffering man of their own faith.) I was also under the impression that this same Jesus was against perpetrating hatred, as is this at-best-fringe element who claims to be a Christian Minister, "spreading the word."  The question is, who's word is he spreading? And how is he getting the media to help him spread it?

Meanwhile, I'm a PR and Marketing person.  I am REALLY envious that this "Christian minister" is getting completely free publicity from worldwide media, and using it to try to get the attention of powerful people, as well as using the media to aid in attempted extortion. 

Hmmmm.  Maybe he's not a nut case after all.  According to Advertising Equivalency  this "nut case" has just been given billions of dollars of free media coverage, when I work so hard to get a little tiny bit of publicity for my clients, and sometimes my clients even PAY the media to get mentioned (which is called advertising.) 

These clients are mostly small businesses.  They employ American citizens, providing health coverage for their employees, probably most of them Christians (OK, I know one of them is Catholic....I'm not sure this minister would agree that qualifies as Christian.) And these businesses DESERVE AT LEAST as much free publicity as this allegedly Christian minister, who doesn't seem to add much value to America at all.

In fact, some might say, he's actually going to be responsible for some deaths of American soldiers, or even innocent Christian civilians (apparently, he wouldn't care if a few innocent Muslims died in the process, so we won't bother mentioning that). Why should HE be rewarded with free publicity? In fact, if anyone does get hurt or loses a loved one as  result of said publicity, I think a good lawyer could make a case for significant compensation -- his or her client suing both the nut case AND the media who initially reported the story.  Isn't this irresponsible reporting, an abuse of "freedom of the press?"

My Walnut28 Communications business has had a few clients over the past few years.  I think I'll get one of them to agree to join me in announcing that we will burn a few Bibles because we are mad at this Christian minister for endangering the lives of our troops in a very Muslim part of the world.  And if enough Christians get angry at the company for burning bibles, maybe the media will pick it up.  Or vice versa.  And -- bingo -- brand recognition.  The only cost is my consulting fee.

Maybe I should hire this nut case.  I think he's on to something. 

TUFTS pioneers YouTube College Essay Applications

Front and center -- page that is -- of Sunday (Feb. 21) Boston Globe: "A Fresh Pitch on 'U' Tube --

Tufts, in a first, invited applicants to submit one-minute videos. A creative flood followed." 

The NYT also covered this momentus event.  I excerpt below, from the Times article:

"Lee Coffin, the dean of undergraduate admissions, said the idea came to him last spring as he watched a YouTube video someone had sent him. “I thought, ‘If this kid applied to Tufts, I’d admit him in a minute, without anything else,’ ” Mr. Coffin said....

For Tufts, the videos have been a delightful way to get to know the applicants.

“At heart, this is all about a conversation between a kid and an admissions officer,” Mr. Coffin  said. “You see their floppy hair and their messy bedrooms, and you get a sense of who they are. We have a lot of information about applicants, but the videos let them share their voice.”

“We’ve got some who are really good with the technology,” Mr. Coffin said. “There’s a real technical savvy out there in this generation, and this lets them show off their splicing, their stop action, their animation. Some of the engineering applicants show us what they’ve made. One kid is talking, and then all of a sudden, he’s in the water, to show off his underwater camera.”

While elephants are a common theme in the videos — Jumbo the elephant is Tufts’s mascot — only Michael Klinker went so far as to build a small remote-control blue-elephant helicopter that flies merrily around his backyard.

Some of the videos have developed a YouTube following. The popular favorite is probably Amelia Downs, with more than 6,000 views for her video combining “two of my favorite things: being a nerd and dancing,” in which she performs a bar graph, a scatter plot, a pie chart, and a sine and cosine graph."

The Times article featured the following videos:

 Rhaina Cohen’s video, working off the saying “You never truly know someone until you have walked a mile in her shoes,” and featuring the blue sandals from her bat mitzvah, the white sneakers she bought cheaply in Britain, and the black heels in which she “stood next to Hillary Clinton.”...

While elephants are a common theme in the videos — Jumbo the elephant is Tufts’s mascot — only Michael Klinker went so far as to build a small remote-control blue-elephant helicopter that flies merrily around his backyard.

Some of the videos have developed a YouTube following. The popular favorite is probably Amelia Downs, with more than 6,000 views for her video combining “two of my favorite things: being a nerd and dancing,” in which she performs a bar graph, a scatter plot, a pie chart, and a sine and cosine graph.

While the application allowed students to put their video on any easily accessible Web site, he said almost everybody used YouTube.

Having seen the popularity of the videos — and heard from current Tufts students who want their favorite applicants admitted — Mr. Coffin now plans to put the best ones into a “Tufts Idol” contest once admissions season is over."

HERE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITES:

A day in my life (rap) [THE BEST! My favorite. A real work of art.]

Stick figure going through life, ending at Tufts

What’s on my iPod – lip sync

I could be a spoiled ASPEN ski brat, but helped after Katrina, and in 3rd world countries - You decide

Glass half full: it's all in your outlook on life

Young Man Searching for the Right School (approved for all audiences)

The sound of paper (had me laughing out loud)

An incredible medley of the many talents of Young Man: Musician, Athlete, Skateboarder

and this very creative video of another multi talented young woman (WOW)

I'm guessing most Tuft's applicants are gifted and skilled writers.  But a 1 minute video about yourself (presumably featuring your talents and strengths)...that's really tough to do in such a way that it a) is easy and fun to watch; b) doesn't come off as bragging c) doesn't require tremendous video editing skills and/or expensive equipment d) stands out in the crowd; and e) captures the essence of "you."  This is an art form that requires self awareness, understanding your audience, and multimedia communication skills, beyond writing.  Similar to the art of of the short, short story, the one minute video college essay demands the art of the best of advertising; the art of movie making; innovation and creativity -- in other words, the best of YouTube art, marketing and communications.

POST SCRIPT -- TUFT'S should recruit this GRAD STUDENT?  OR PERHAPS AN HONORARY DOCTORATE? 

GOOD NEWS ABOUT FEISTY BOSTON OLDSTER -- LIVE ON VIDEO

Granny packs a punch.  You GO, Girlfriend....or, old-lady-friend...or both.  She must be Boston born and bred...  "Love that dirty water..."

MORE YouTUBE ADS THAT MIGHT QUALIFY AS CINEMA ART? (most banned from TV)

As I predicted many years ago, (and, as I'm sure Google realized when they purchased it)  YouTUBE has become mainstream for alternative advertising with many advantages.

Budweiser is know for its great ads.  A few Bud Light ads are just brilliant....such as THIS ONE, about how to have your cake and drink it, too.

And THIS ONE....when it comes to zoo animals, turn about's fair, and very funny, play!

And from a Euro Beer maker, THIS ONE....so true, a good illustration of how one might become an alcoholic!  Maybe that's too harsh...let's just say, life looks better with Tuborg.

And THIS ONE from Bridgestone Tires, probably banned from TV, but definitely one that viewers will send to each other for entertainment.  I haven't seen such character development in a dog since Lady and the Tramp (in this case, the honeymoon is over...Lady IS the tramp and breaks her man's heart.)

 While I was doing this research, I stumbled on this brilliant and hysterical canine version of Jim Carey in Liar, Liar...or, for another generation, Dr. Strangelove and his residual Nazi arm with a mind of its own.

It's not an ad...but I just had to post it. 

"WORDS YOU DON'T KNOW" -- A PERFECT GIFT for Language and Scrabble Lovers, from the author who brought you "ALIEN SEX PILLS"

If you are struggling to find a unique gift for the intellectual in your life, especially one who has everything (and still has a sense of humor), or for a scrabble-playing loved one, or for anyone with an appreciation of the obscure, I highly recommend the paperback book "WORDS YOU DON'T KNOW," by Robin Bloor. 

ALIEN SEX PILLS....Author Bloor actually researched my longest-running post for the "Most cosmic Web Site" for my blog, when I was writing it for Progress Software Corporation.  Bloor had me laughing so hard at his written summary of his "most cosmic web site" research that I suggested he start his own blog, which he did.  He used it to provide a fun-to-read summary of emerging and morphing technologies, but always concluded with a "Surfin' Safari" entry, an early introduction to how Search Engine Optimization might work.  The first was a re-write of what he submitted to me...."Alien Sex Pills."

Known in the High Tech industry for his quick wit and as one who doesn't just write about things, but actually does them (i.e. programming languages, web design, open source technologies, etc.), Robin Bloor has taken time from his market research to collect a book of "WORDS YOU DON'T KNOW." 

One of my favorites is "Hippopotomonstrosesquippediliophobia" [whew...I THINK I copied that correctly]. Bloor explains, "This word is blatantly intimidating and was almost certainly invented by a sadistic psychiatrist.  At 36 letters, it's longer than any of the words mentioned [in the chapter of 'Very Long Words'] and it means (I almost can't believe it) the fear of long words. Only a sadistic psychiatrist would concoct such a word to describe the fear of such long words.  I mean how is that preferable to longwordaphobia?" 

But imagine pulling this off in Scrabble, although I don't think the board is large enough.

After leaving Progress, I finally retired the "most cosmic web site" to YouTube. I devoted myself to being a communications analyst and YouTube futurist, and dedicated my blog to emerging communication trends on and/or leveraging YouTube. I told Robin I needed a YouTube video that was relevant to his book.  The prescient Mr. Bloor had already created a YouTube video to promote his book.  Of course, the expat Brit used it to poke fun at the French language.  You can take the boy out of Britain, but you can't take Britain out of the Boy.

To find out what others have to say about Bloor's new book, check out the author's summary and equally entertaining comments by other readers on Amazon.com .

PS: to whet your appetite, your might enjoy Robin's initial blog entry of "10 IT words you don't know" that inspired the book.  I feel compelled to cite a few of my favorite excerpts.

"Cyberchondria: This is another surfing term, referring to hypochondria caused by surfing to medical sites that give descriptions of the symptoms of given illnesses. If you’re a doctor and one of your patients insists that he or she is suffering from pneumonic plague or blackwater fever, in all probability they are only suffering from cyberchondria.

Friendorphobia: A cyberchondriac might well suffer from friendorphobia, but not necessarily as a result of cyberchondria. I think most of us suffer from friendorphobia nowadays. Friendorphobia is the fear of forgetting a password. By the way, I am not making this up – there is such a word."

Since Robin published this blog entry, I heard NPR do their annual summary of new words added to the defacto American dictionary.  One was "sexting."  But, my mind was jogged by Robin's second word, and I wondered if anyone has recognized the new now-commonly-used verb "friend"....as in "friend me."

VIRTUAL VIDEO ART GALLERY

Here's a very funny short video -- spoof on Pixar -- from an amazing collection of video shorts on the site
COLLEGE HUMOR ORIGINALS.  I also loved the Google Maps guys.

I could get lost in this site. How cool is this?  It has a channel on YouTube, and a Facebook fan club, too.  Of course! 

I better put down the computer and go rake leaves or something.

CAN THIS MARRIAGE BE SAVED?

This little gem on YouTube could be sponsored by Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, or anyone from a Couples Counseling Service to a manufacturer of PMS medicine.  Or, if in Vegas, perhaps a Cat House. I'm not sure it qualifies as true User Generated Advertising (UGA), but it's close.

SOUTHWEST AIR: Another Great Ad not seen on TV, only on YouTube

Considering the news about the latest attempted airline terrorist, and some of the bad flight experiences with the recent East Coast snowstorms, I thought it might be a great time to revisit this awesome scene from SouthWest Airlines.  Now THIS is what I call a good flight experience!  Give it up for SW Airlines' talent David Holmes.  Not only will I not mind the extra charges on my "plastic" I might even tip! 

STARBUCKS: another UGA community is born on YouTube

"MY STARBUCKS STORY: Have Fun -- Be Creative -- Express yourself....How does working at Starbucks fits into my life."

That's how I originally envisioned the whole UGA movement on YouTube. 

HUMOR: FINAL EXAM

There were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc. Each had an 'A' so far for the semester. The four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to drive down to the University of San Diego and party with some friends.

They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They told him they had gone to USD for the weekend and planned to come back in time to study but unfortunately, had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the Final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them.

He placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points. It was something Simple about free radical formation. Cool, they thought! Each one, in his separate room, thought the exam was going to be easy. After finishing the first problem they turned the page. On the second page was written:

For 95 points:

Which tire?